Category Archives: plutocracy

Uncle Richard Bruce Explains it All: A Play in One Unbalanced Act.

Hes Got the Whole World In His Hands...

He's Got the Whole World In His Hands...

AUTHOR’S NOTE: When I heard yesterday that Unka Dick was writing a book criticizing George Bush for “going soft” on “their” policies in the final year of his Presidency, I couldn’t help imagining what he would say. This is the result. Enjoy!

 

THE SCENE: Dick Cheney’s secret bunker, erm, house. It is lushly appointed in Modern Dungeon, with grey walls mimicking the look of concrete, medieval torture devices tastefully displayed in gleaming mahogany cabinets with recessed lighting, and an old electric chair given pride of place in a prominent corner. Pictures of Cheney with Nixon, Kissinger and other reviled figures of the American past are positioned artfully on the walls. There are some obvious empty spaces where the pictures of Dick and Dubya used to hang. On the mantle over the stone fireplace are family pictures in black ebony frames; the 75-inch flatscreen TV is perpetually tuned to Fox News. The whole place seems like a museum, and a rather uninviting one at that.

DICK is seated in a leather armchair by the fireplace, waiting impatiently, sipping on a bourbon and water. He is half-drunk, as usual. Finally, his wife LYNNE enters the room with another woman, in her early sixties, and well-put together.

LYNNE: Dick, here she is. What did you say your name was again, honey?

WOMAN: Mrs. Cheney, my name is Frances Wood – I’m here to help Dick with his book.

LYNNE: Well now, Frances, I think you’re going to work out just wonderfully. I’ll leave you both to your work. I just know it’s going to be a huge best-seller!

(LYNNE exits.)

DICK (motioning to a chair opposite him): Well, sit down, Frances, sit down. Tell me about yourself. Do you have a lot of ghostwriting experience?

FRANCES: Actually, yes. I write all of the books for Regnery Press. You know, the conservative publishing house? Michelle Malkin, Bernie Goldberg…folks like that.

DICK (impressed): Well! It looks like I’m in very good hands then.

FRANCES (faux-modestly): I like to think so. So, Mr. Vice President –

DICK (interrupting): Call me Dick. Everyone does.

FRANCES: Well, uh, Dick, where would you like to start?

DICK: At the beginning, of course! Chapter 1: The Nixon Years.

FRANCES: Perfect! May I turn on my tape recorder?

DICK (panicking): NO! No tape recorders! I get to wiretap you, not the other way around!

FRANCES (shocked): Uh, what?

DICK (recovering himself): Oh! Sorry. Just a reflex.  Ha! Well. Where was I? Ah yes. Chapter 1: The Nixon Years. (leaning back in his chair and reminiscing) Ah, Dick Nixon was a great man. He had a problem with the drinking, you know: but otherwise, he was really on the right track.

FRANCES (encouragingly): In what way?

DICK (taking a sip of his drink): Remember when he said “When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal?” That was brilliant! Yes, if only he’d taken that farther, we would be in a much better place here in America. (abruptly standing, snarling) But no, that stupid Commie bastard Ford had to come in and ruin everything. PARDON Nixon. For what? A stupid burglary? That was child’s play, a nothing. The only mistake G. Gordon made was getting caught!

FRANCES (eagerly): Wow! This is great stuff, Dick. Please continue.

DICK (basking in her praise): Well, we can flesh that part out later. What I really want to talk about is how I developed my philosophy for world domination, and how that weak, drunken fool (air quotes) “Dubya” ruined everything!

(sitting on the arm of the chair, deliciously remembering his glory days)

DICK: It all began with a group of dreamers. Me and some guys from the American Enterprise Institute and the Heritage Foundation, we decided that after President Reagan caused the USSR to destroy itself in Afghanistan, we needed a new focus for American foreign policy. At the same time, we realized that as much as we love our oil men in Texas, their time was coming to an end. Pretty soon the U.S. of A. was going to need all of that oil in the Middle East in order to survive. And of course, we knew that with the rise of that wimp Al Gore’s (air quotes) “internet,” nuclear weapons were going to start proliferating in countries that were very unfriendly to our interests.

And so was born – the Project for the New American Century!

(A fanfare bursts out in the room.)

FRANCES (jumping up, startled, hand on heart): Oh my goodness!

DICK (confused): Huh? (light dawning) Oh, that! Oh don’t worry, Frances. I’ll have it  turned off. The house is wired for certain..special effects. (Presses a button under the arm of the chair) There! That should be the last time you hear it.

FRANCES (calming down, but now confused in turn): Special…effects?

DICK (embarrassed): Ummmm, yes. You see, it’s hard for some people to understand my speech, so we have a Cheney to English translater built into the house. (gesturing) My words are processed as they exit my mouth, so you can better receive my wisdom. But that’s not why we’re here, so let’s get back on track, shall we? We were talking about – my glorious vision! 

(sits back down in the chair)

FRANCES: Yes, tell me more about (looks around apprehensively), um, PNAC?

(No fanfare. FRANCES sighs with relief.)

DICK: Yes, PNAC! Well, we understood that weak-minded, lily-livered hick, Bill Clinton was destroying America with all that so-called peace and prosperity. We knew it was time to do something quick! So here it is: Our Statement of Principles, from 1997. I can recite it from memory, of course.

(declaiming)

“We seem to have forgotten the essential elements of the Reagan Administration’s success: a military that is strong and ready to meet both present and future challenges; a foreign policy that boldly and purposefully promotes American principles abroad; and national leadership that accepts the United States’ global responsibilities.

Of course, the United States must be prudent in how it exercises its power. But we cannot safely avoid the responsibilities of global leadership or the costs that are associated with its exercise. America has a vital role in maintaining peace and security in Europe, Asia, and the Middle East. If we shirk our responsibilities, we invite challenges to our fundamental interests. The history of the 20th century should have taught us that it is important to shape circumstances before crises emerge, and to meet threats before they become dire. The history of this century should have taught us to embrace the cause of American leadership.

Our aim is to remind Americans of these lessons and to draw their consequences for today. Here are four consequences:

• we need to increase defense spending significantly if we are to carry out our global
responsibilities today and modernize our armed forces for the future;

• we need to strengthen our ties to democratic allies and to challenge regimes hostile to our interests and values;

• we need to promote the cause of political and economic freedom abroad;

• we need to accept responsibility for America’s unique role in preserving and extending an international order friendly to our security, our prosperity, and our principles.

Such a Reaganite policy of military strength and moral clarity may not be fashionable today. But it is necessary if the United States is to build on the successes of this past century and to ensure our security and our greatness in the next.”

(DICK looks expectantly at FRANCES. She is spellbound, but then, comes out of it to give DICK a round of applause.)

FRANCES: Bra-vo, Dick! And how did PNAC proceed after that?

DICK: Well, we wrote a letter in 1998 trying to convince ol’ Billy Boy to invade Eye-Raq. We had some of our Congressmen do the same. But it didn’t work. He couldn’t see the opportunity and the danger of Saddam’s evil regime. But when we got Georgie in the White House, we knew we had struck gold. And 9/11, well, that was just great for us! It was the perfect excuse to do what we had wanted to do from Day One. We even put one of our members in charge in Afghanistan! Allahu akbar, baby!

FRANCES (smiling, tactfully): Uh, Dick, I might not put that in the book. I mean, we want people to like you and sympathize with you. Right?

DICK (standing abruptly, thundering and pointing his finger): LIKE me? Do you think I give a shit about that? This book is about being RIGHT and setting the record straight. I can still influence the direction of this country and keep it from descending into complete chaos! It’s my duty as an American!

(taking a deep breath, calming himself)

Now, if you will excuse me, I think I need a break. We’ll continue in an hour or so. Please feel free to help yourself to whatever you need in the kitchen. The maid will be along shortly to give you a tour of the house.

(DICK exits.)

(FRANCES, mindful of the bugs in the Cheney home, turns up the sound on the TV. She furtively takes out a cell phone and makes a call.)

FRANCES (in a stage whisper): Hello? Laura? It’s me, Frances. It’s working out just like you said it would! Dick is even more nuts than you told me! (listening) Yes, I heard the fanfare. (listening) Trust me. When I’m done with Dick Cheney, your husband George is going to look like a saint! (listening) You’re welcome, honey. Anything for a fellow Kappa Alpha Theta! KAT Forever! Bye, honey!

(FRANCES hangs up the phone happily.)

(LIGHTS OUT.)

Advertisements

Barack Obama’s First 100 Days: A Play in One Conspiratorial Act.

Who is Hiding Behind These Masks?

Who is Hiding Behind These Masks?

SCENE ONE: The President of the United States, BARACK OBAMA, is sitting in the back of his plushly-appointed limousine. A TV screen showing constantly looping DVD’s of OBAMA’S greatest speeches is strategically placed in front of his eyes. It has a calming effect on him in these days of stress and strain. OBAMA is smoking a cigarette to further relax him in preparation for the meeting he is about to attend.

LIMO DRIVER: Where to, Mr. President? We’ve been driving in circles for 15 minutes now.

OBAMA: Is anyone following us, Frank?

LD: Just the usual photographers and Secret Service, Mr. President.

OBAMA: Ditch the photogs, Frank. The Secret Service knows where we’re going.

LD (with slowly dawning realization): Ohhhhhh. We’re going THERE. (impressed and determined) Hang on, sir. I’ll get you there  in no time.

OBAMA (leaning back in his seat, enjoying his smoke): Good, good. Don’t want to keep them waiting. They hate to wait.

(LIGHTS OUT.)

SCENE TWO:  The hallway of an anonymous office building somewhere in DC. There is no art on the walls, which are a tasteful ecru. A plush beige carpet leads to a nondescript blond wood door. OBAMA walks confidently down the hall and approaches the door.

DOOR (in sultry female voice): Welcome, President Obama.

OBAMA (with a big smile): Hello there, sweetie.

DOOR: Please speak today’s password phrase.

OBAMA (exasperated): Come on, you just recognized me! I’m the President of the United States. Just let me in already!

DOOR (implacably): Please speak today’s password phrase.

OBAMA: Awwwww, shit.  Uh, um…”We get the bucks, your life sucks?”

DOOR: Password incorrect. Two more tries, Mr. President.

OBAMA: The notion that somehow you would deny me entry…I’m the leader of the free world! How can you do this to me?!

DOOR: Do not try to baffle me with bullshit, Mr. President. I am not made to Obot specifications. (implacably) Please speak today’s password phrase.

OBAMA: SHIT! Uh, ummmmm…

(The trademark grin spreads across his face as he remembers the password)

OBAMA: Blood for oil, we get the spoils!

DOOR: Thank you, Mr. President. (the door clicks open) Welcome to the meeting.

(OBAMA walks through the door. LIGHTS OUT.)

SCENE THREE: A typical conference room. The bland decor of the hallway is echoed in the blonde wood, beige leather chairs and beige plush carpeting. The only ornamentation is one large P on the center of the back panel of the wall facing the audience.

Clustered around the stage left side of the table are five people in black robes and white, expressionless masks in the Greek tragedy tradition. Their sex, age and physical appearance are all indeterminate. They have voice-scramblers in their masks, to further hide their identities; the effect of this alteration is to make their words even more inhumane and eerie.

BARACK OBAMA enters stage right, strutting confidently. He takes his seat at the table, across from the five mysterious figures.

OBAMA: Hey, guys, how’s it going?

FIGURE 1 (pointing a finger intimidatingly): WE will ask the questions. YOU will answer.

OBAMA (only slightly daunted): Don’t worry about it, I’m cool. Uh, um…mind if I smoke in here?

FIGURE 2 (forbiddingly): Yes.

OBAMA (more sheepishly): Oh.

FIGURE 3: If you have QUITE finished stalling, young man, we will now proceed with your 100-day performance review.

(A screen comes down in front of the “P” in the back of the room. A blank report card entitled “BARACK OBAMA: FIRST 100 DAYS” appears on the screen. As the figures name the items being graded, the name of the item and the grade fill in the blanks.)

FIGURE 4 (whispering to 3): Are you sure the report card format was such a good idea? He’s not Dubya, you know.

FIGURE 3 (whispering back): Trust me.

FIGURE 5: Now, let’s check your progress on the Patriarchal Agenda. Hmmmm…let’s see. Item number one: Keeping our war machine oiled and running smoothly.

FIGURE 1 (snickering): Oiled! Ha ha ha!

(ALL FIGURES laugh. OBAMA looks puzzled, but gamely joins in the laughter.)

FIGURE 5 (pleased): I thought you’d like that! Anyway, our employee here gets…oooh! An A Plus!

OBAMA (preening): You’re darned right. And it wasn’t easy, either, especially when I talked about how I was against the Iraq war for two years and promised to end it…and now, I’m getting away with continuing it indefinitely. Some trick, huh? Plus, I’m even doing a surge in Afghanistan and building up to a third war in Pock-ee-stan – and not a protest in sight!

ALL FIGURES: Bravo!

Continue reading

You Keep Using That Word, Palin-Ized. I Don’t Think It Means What You Think It Means.

Are You Kidding Me, Caroline?
Sarah Palin

As I walked to the subway the other day, I saw a headline that made my blood boil. Good thing, because it was minus a zillion degrees.

Some Dems question Caroline Kennedy’s experience: ‘They’ve basically Sarah Palin-ized her’

ORLY?

It was entirely legitimate to question GOVERNOR Sarah Palin’s government experience. It is entirely legitimate to question SOCIALITE Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg’s government experience (which, despite the embarrassing paucity of her resume, has already been greatly exaggerated.

What is NOT legitimate is to do the following:

  • Hack into her personal email;
  • Advocate violence against her (advocate for an involuntary hysterectomy, hang her in effigy, create a cartoon referring to her as a “MILP – Mother I’d Like To Punch”, shoot a video where she is viciously tackled by Terry Tate);
  • Spread rumors that her son, Trig, is not her own;
  • Create a sex doll that looks like her;
  • Create t-shirts with the words “Sarah Palin is a c***” and wear them proudly as if they prove how kewl and feminist you are;
  • Claim she doesn’t know Africa is a continent, and that she answers the door in a towel like Salome doing the Dance of the Seven Veils, and create a massive fauxrage about how much the RNC spent on her wardrobe without paying the slightest attention to how much the male candidates spend on theirs; and
  • Edit her interviews so that she appears to be a warmongering idiot; ask her hostile and brainless questions like “What magazines do you read?”

Wake me when any of that happens to Princess Caroline. I have a feeling I’ll be napping for a long, long time.

Continue reading

Obama Hears a "Huh?!" – A Play in One Oblivious Act.

THE SCENE: BARACK OBAMA is sleeping in a five-star hotel room. Four-poster bed, multi-room suite, you know the deal. He has a purple satin sleep mask over his eyes. His wife, MICHELLE, can be heard, but not seen, humming “Hail To the Chief” from the enormous bathroom, where she is taking a bubble bath.

BILL BURTON, Obama’s campaign manager, knocks diffidently on the bedroom door.

BURTON: Hey, Barack? Are you awake yet?

MICHELLE (from bathroom): Dammit Bill, I told you to call him “Mr. President!”

BURTON: (rolling his eyes) Sorry, Michelle. Uh, Mr. President?

OBAMA: (stretching and removing his mask) Oh, hey Bill. [BURTON enters the room] What time is it?

BURTON: Almost 6 am. Up and at ’em, tiger!

OBAMA: Oh man. My waffles coming?

BURTON: Like always, Mr. President. [OBAMA smiles.]

OBAMA: Cool. So, what’s happening today? Is everybody happy?

BURTON: Uh, not really, Mr. President. [OBAMA’s smile disappears.]

OBAMA: What the hell? What will it take for those Catwomen –

BURTON: PUMAs, Barack.

OBAMA: [waving hand dismissively] Fine, fine, whatever, PUMAs – to get on the Obama train? Do I have to give them a kiss or something?

BURTON: Actually, I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about your fans in the blogosphere. They are really, really pissed about this FISA compromise.

OBAMA: [chuckling] Oh. I thought it was something serious! After everything I’ve said and done, they’re mad at me about FISA, huh? Lord, they are hilarious. They really think I’m going to filibuster? Are they crazy? I don’t have time for that crap, I’ve got a campaign to run! Let Feingold and Dodd take care of it.

BURTON: But they’ve threatened to withhold campaign donations. They’ve formed a group of 16,000 people on your website.

OBAMA: [smiling] Come on, Bill. I’ve got fundraisers coming up where people are paying $30,000 a plate to see me. Does Markos really think his $2300 is going to make a dent? Seriously, these people do not have a clue.

BURTON: So, you think they’ll vote for you anyway?

MICHELLE (from the bathroom): Of course they will! You think they’ll vote for John McCain? After all…

[all three together]: Where else can they go?

BURTON: [smiling] You’re right, Mr. President. What was I thinking? Unless they plan to withhold their votes, like those bitchy PUMAs, they’re just pissing into the wind. We’ll just ignore them like we usually do.

OBAMA: [clapping Burton on the back] My man! That’s what I’m talking about. Now, where the hell are those waffles?

[Lights out.]

Cross-posted at The Confluence.

Independence Day: Losing Faith in the Democratic Brand

“This is an impressive crowd – the haves, and the have-mores.
Some call you the elite. I call you my base.”
George W. Bush, October 19, 2000

Yes, I’m back from Aruba, rested, relaxed and ready to roar! (More pictures will be coming later.)

I’ve been thinking about this post for quite some time. How can I further explain why Barack Obama is not getting my vote? I have tried in various different ways; using plays, lists of ways in which Obama has not kept his promises, and even a petition to show my reasoning. Yet some thoughtful Obama supporters still do not understand where I’m coming from.

I don’t blame them. Sometimes, I can’t believe it myself! After all, everyone who knows me (or reads my blog) knows that a few months ago, I was yelling louder than anyone that ANY Democrat would be better than a Republican in 2009.

Then I realized: I am a PUMA because I don’t have faith in the Democratic brand anymore.

All my life, I have voted Democratic when I could. Fiercely partisan and proud of it, only one time did I cast a vote for a Republic, and that was when I allowed myself to be a single-issue voter. (I’ll never make that mistake again.) I believed wholeheartedly in the idea that the Democrats were inherently better than the Republics. Why? Because the Democrats cared about the working class. The Democrats wanted a social safety net and equal opportunity for all. Every enlightened advance made in our society in the last 60 years was forced through by Democrats. And face it – what Democrat would ever say the words I quote above? Embarrassing. Anathema!

Then, along came Barack Obama.

Elitist? You bet. Courting the rightiest right-wingers in our society? Much more than he’s courting liberals! And as for the Democratic base? Who needs ’em? They’re just racist Republicans, anyway. And as for his policy positions? I don’t trust one word he says.

The only way a politician like Obama can brand himself a Democrat is that the Democratic brand is in desperate trouble. There are two reasons for this: the actions of the VRWC (the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, which did and does exist), and the actions of current Democratic Party leadership.

First, the enemy without.

When Bill Clinton was elected in 1992, the New Conservative Republicans knew that in two years, they would sweep Congress. Their plans to infiltrate the media via teevee and radio punditry, and to take over the local parties at the grassroots level, had gone swimmingly. Now, only those in lockstep with the radical rightwing agenda – mostly social and anti-government in nature – would be able to advance to national office. And thus it came to pass in 1994 that Gingrich’s Congress took power.

As we know, they immediately began investigating the new Democratic President. But what their media wing did is a lesser-known fact: They immediately began divorcing the Clintons from the Democratic brand.

Despite the avalanche of progressive reforms that Clinton attempted from 1992-1994 while he had a somewhat supportive Congress (and many of which, like AmeriCorps, became incredibly successful), the impression began to be created that Bill and Hillary Clinton were not REALLY Democrats. Smears about their characters and “true intentions” began to be published in every newspaper. Sure, they may try to fix health care, but their “true intentions” were to screw the little guy. The term “slick Willy” was affixed to President Clinton with Crazy Glue. Bill was a liar and a cheat. Hillary was cold, calculating, ambitious and gay. They were possibly even murderers (Vince Foster). (For factual backup of all of these occurrences, I highly recommend, once again, David Brock’s amazing book, “Blinded by the Right.”)

How could these people be Democrats? They couldn’t. And neither could their supporters.

Thus, despite Bill’s job approval rating being extremely high when he left office, Democrats were successfully induced to feel that there was something wrong with Bill and Hillary on a personal level. Something unsavory, undesirable, and…Republican.

Fast-forward to 2007, when Barack Obama, the candidate backed by the current Democratic Party Leaders, began his own campaign against Hillary Clinton. Guess what his line of attack was? Her “character” and “judgment.” Ring any bells for ya? He and his surrogates even tried to get the media to focus on the Republics’ greatest hits of the 1990’s, although Hillary put the smackdown on that pretty quickly when Howard Wolfson likened Obama to Ken Starr. And of course, there were the Big “Progressive” Bloggers, who always hated the Clintons, and who were more than happy to allow the most outrageous lies to be propagated as truth in their worlds. (Remember how Hillary “darkened” Obama’s face on a videotape? Or how she was spreading the photo of Obama in Muslim garb – “sourced” by the oh-so-reliable Matt Drudge?)

What’s amazing is that this double-pronged strategy, so successful with Bill Clinton, did not work on Hillary Clinton. Despite taking years of hits from Republicans AND Democrats, she became the first woman to win a national primary, then smashed all records by garnering 18 million popular votes. And as for winning the Democratic base? The more they saw her, the more they realized that the rightwing spin on her was a bunch of hooey. They came out for her in droves – months AFTER she had been pronounced dead by the National Party and the media.

It is my belief that the Clintons, especially Hillary, represent the true face of the Democratic Party, and not the current Party elites and their favored candidate, Barack Obama. That the Democratic brand is now like toothpaste that’s been contaminated by antifreeze – bad for you, and sold-out to the highest bidder. That the only way to save the brand is by distilling out the poison of corruption and elitism, and to get it down to its purest elements – FDR-style populism and emphasis on the working class instead of the rich.

There is no way, no WAY that Barack Obama can do what is necessary to save the brand. He is clearly not inclined to do so, having zero record of any actions backing up his sometimes-liberal rhetoric, and neither are his supporters. They are only interested in creating a Party that more closely reflects their own image of themselves as Teh Kewl Kids Who Drink The Right Kind of Beer and Ousted Those Despicable Clintons. The fact that Obama’s nomination is being made possible only with the most obvious and corrupt Party intervention matters not one whit to them.

What I see now is a choice between two parties that represent the rich, do not care about the will of the voters, and look down on people who need the government’s help to equalize their opportunities.

Now I ask you, why would a representative of either of such parties get my vote – unless it is Hillary Clinton, who has a record of standing for, and delivering on, true Democratic principles?

There is a movement to send torn-up Democratic voter registration cards to the DNC today, with a note that the former Democrat is becoming an Independent. I myself have not taken this step, since I am still hoping that the Party can come to its senses and nominate Hillary at the Convention. But should the DNC and Party leaders persist in nominating Barack Obama despite the will of the people, despite his weakness as a candidate, and despite the fact that he has demonstrated no allegiance whatsoever to core Democratic Party principles, then the brand truly will be dead.

And I will no longer be a Democrat.

PUMA!

Plutocracy: It’s Not Just for Republics Any More!

Apparently some Obama bloggers think it’s just fine and dandy too.

Just check out a bit of the New Democratic Manifesto written (and I use the term loosely) by Obama blogger Chris Bowers at Open Left yesterday:

Cultural Shift: Out with Bubbas, up with Creatives: There should be a major cultural shift in the party, where the southern Dems and Liebercrat elite will be largely replaced by rising creative class types. Obama has all the markers of a creative class background, from his community organizing, to his Unitarianism, to being an academic, to living in Hyde Park to shopping at Whole Foods and drinking PBR. These will be the type of people running the Democratic Party now, and it will be a big cultural shift from the white working class focus of earlier decades. Given the demographics of the blogosphere, in all likelihood, this is a socioeconomic and cultural demographic into which you fit. Culturally, the Democratic Party will feel pretty normal to netroots types. It will consistently send out cultural signals designed to appeal primarily to the creative class instead of rich donors and the white working class.

Oh, Chris, Chris, Chris.

I’m finding it hard to get by the first words of that paragraph, “Out with Bubbas, up with Creatives.” Personally, as a middle-class, Jewish woman with a Master’s Degree, I was unaware that I was a Bubba. And as a professional singer and web designer, I was also unaware of how uncreative I was compared to self-important, penilely-endowed Obama FanBoiz who practice illiterate and ahistorical mutual masturbation in their tiny echo chambers all day.

But I digress. On to Plutocracy. Sieg heil!

There should be a major cultural shift in the party, where the southern Dems and Liebercrat elite will be largely replaced by rising creative class types.

As for the Southern Dems part, the author is referring to Bill Clinton and his coalition, as other portions of his post make clear. Mr. Bowers is too busy being creative with history to realize that the South was only a part of President Clinton’s coalition, of course. Pennsylvania? Ohio? Anyone? Bueller?

But my favorite part is the “Liebercrat elite” phrase. Didn’t you know, my dear deluded soul, that the Liebercrat elite is supporting Obama? Or have you missed that the Party bigwigs have all bypassed the more progressive candidate and are lined up solidly behind the one with the most Wall Street backing? Didn’t you know that Obama’s mentor in the Senate was Joe Lieberman?

And as for calling yourself and your fellow Obama bloggers “creative class types,” my friend, we who are actually creative don’t consider ourselves any kind of class at all. We are laughing AT you, not WITH you.

On to the next atrocity.

Obama has all the markers of a creative class background, from his community organizing, to his Unitarianism, to being an academic, to living in Hyde Park to shopping at Whole Foods and drinking PBR.

In other words:

“Ooooooh! Obama shops at the same store I do! He’s a Unitarian! (Not true, of course, as 99.9% of the world knows. He belongs to TUCC, which is about as far from Unitarianism as is humanly possible in the Christian faith.) He was a community organizer and I sit in front of my computer all day! We are teh same! The Cool Kid likes me, he really does! OOOoooooooOOOOOoh [thunk]!” (Here’s where Bowers faints from sheer adoration.)

You know, I thought that when Hillary’s campaign said, “If you have a social need, you’re with Hillary. If you want Obama to be your imaginary hip black friend and you’re young and you have no social needs, then he’s cool,” that it was quite unnecessarily unPC and somewhat offensive. Turns out, she was right. All it took was a wink and a nod from a Kewl Kid (added to a healthy dose of Hillary Hate) to turn the Obama bloggers into sycophants, ready to love and justify anything Obama says and does. Oh, yes, the Dear Leader is always, always right! Sieg heil!

All right, I admit haven’t gotten to the Sieg Heil part yet. I’m just so offended by the parts before it that I keep getting distracted. But finally, here it is as Bowers concludes his Beloved – and his bloggy followers, of course – will be the ones to lead the Plutocratic – I mean, New Democratic – Party.

These will be the type of people running the Democratic Party now, and it will be a big cultural shift from the white working class focus of earlier decades.

Oh.

My.

G.

The Democratic Party never focused on the white working class. They focused on the WORKING CLASS, PERIOD.

Democrats passed the Clean Air Act. The Clean Water Act. Jimmy Carter tried to get us off of foreign oil and on to solar energy. Democrats passed the Civil Rights Act. They got women and AA’s the right to vote. They got us the 40-hour work week. In more recent history, Bill Clinton created tens of millions of jobs. He kept us from fighting unnecessary wars and forced the Democrats to balance the budget. He tried to give us universal health care. Is Bowers so monumentally stupid that he thinks these laws and rights benefited WHITE PEOPLE ONLY?????!!!!

If Democrats lose their focus on the working class, they are not New Democrats. They are Plutocrats, or in more modern terms, Republicans. Wow. Am I excited to be a part of this Bowers Movement yet?

But wait. Maybe I’m being too harsh with this paragon of creativity. Let’s just see what he thinks the New Democratic Party will accomplish for its adherents.

I know this is all pretty vague, but it does sum up my basic sense about the coming Obama administration and Democratic Party. Overall, instead feeling like Blue Dogs, Joe Lieberman and media pundits are running the party, it should feel kind of like PIRG, but a bit more right-wing, academic and well-to-do. In other words, PIRG without seeming like DFHs run the show. That should be an upgrade from the 1990’s, but expect quite a few times where progressives will need to take oppositional stances.

So, taking our focus off the working class and allowing the right-wing, academic and wealthy few to take control, will be an upgrade from the 90’s and the Clintons’ accomplishments?

I told you I’d get to the plutocratic part. You see, the “creative class” types should take over the Party because they are so much better than the DLC elites who are currently running the Party. (I’m sure this opinion has nothing to do with the fact that Bowers and his ilk see themselves as future powerbrokers in an Obama administration. Nope, no self-interest there.)

Unfortunately, these more right-wing, academic, wealthy types are still elites. And the REAL change that has been happening since 2006 has been that more and more progressives are being elected to Congress. In the blogosphere, we’ve been chanting “More and better Dems, please!” and putting our money where our mouths are. This year, Democrats are poised to gain a larger majority in the House and a possible filibuster-proof majority in the Senate.

I thought the progressive movement was towards less elitism, not more. That would be the change I’m looking for.

Fuck you, Chris Bowers. You and your cohorts, not Hillary Clinton, are the ones trying to destroy the Democratic Party.

This so-called Bubba despises you for it.