The Obamas Meet the Queen: A Play in One Embarrassing Act.

Not Again!

Not Again!

Note: Thanks to commenter jules, for the inspiration for this play!

THE SCENE: Buckingham Palace. HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH and her consort, PRINCE PHILIP, are lying in bed in their elaborate, gilded suite. It’s been a long day – they’ve just spent it with America’s First Couple, BARACK and MICHELLE OBAMA. They are both exhausted, but not ready to go to sleep just yet. They are wearing monogrammed, silk pajamas with royal crests on them. Reading glasses and old-fashioned nightcaps adorn their royal heads. HMQE is reading The Guardian, while PP is reading OK!.)

HMQE (acerbically, putting down the newspaper): Any good pictures of Britney today, darling?

PP (absorbed): Hmmmmm?

(PP looks over at his wife, reads her mood, and puts down the magazine.)

PP (sympathetically): What is it, darling? Are you still upset about today?

HMQE (bursting out with repressed frustration): Of course I am! I don’t understand how you can just sit there and read that wretched rag, while I’m lying here in a tizzy!

PP: Now, darling, try to remain calm.

HMQE: CALM? (getting out of bed and crossing to her dressing table) CALM? You want me to be CALM? I’m utterly prostrate, Philip, I really am.

(collapses into the chair in front of her dressing table, head in hands)

PP: I’m so sorry, darling. (gets out of bed, crosses to the chair and puts his hands comfortingly on her shoulders) They really are dreadful, aren’t they? I suppose those etiquette lessons were a waste of everyone’s time.

HMQE (despairingly): Oh, Philip, when will the Americans elect a President who has manners and class? We had to deal with that idiotic, brain-damaged Bush for eight years – a man who actually thought it was appropriate to WINK at me. I’m surprised he didn’t ask me to pull his finger!

PP (comfortingly): Well, at least HE’s out of the picture, thank goodness.

HMQE: But now – now they’ve elected Barack Obama. And let me tell you, Philip, I am NOT amused. How DARE he send back that bust of Winston? Winston was a wonderful man and a great ally of Americans in World War II. Does he have no sense of history?

PP: Appalling, darling.

HMQE: And the way Mr. Obama treated Gordon was shameful. He treated Gordon like dirt! You know, Philip, he treated Mrs. Clinton the same way before she became Secretary of State! Brushing her off his shoulder, indeed. The nerve!

PP (shaking his head): I knew we were in trouble when he did that to Mrs. Clinton. Clearly he doesn’t understand how to respect a political opponent.

HMQE (getting up again, crossing to a wing chair in front of the bed): A political opponent? What about a member of your own Party, Philip? Do you know that some people say that he actually (whispering) flipped her the bird?

PP (shocked): I say! That’s not on!

HMQE (back to despair): Oh, why, why do the Americans keep doing this to us? We never should have let them have their independence. Never! (collapses dramatically into the wing chair)

PP (crossing to the wing chair, sitting on the arm next to her): You’re right, of course, but that’s water under the bridge, darling, I’ve told you that many times. I must say, though, I was rather unimpressed with their gifts to us.

HMQE (sarcastically): Really, Philip? Really? An iPod wasn’t the epitome of thoughtfulness? Of consideration? What in heaven’s name could they have been thinking? And why did he give me pictures and videos of myself? I can see those any time I want! As for his speeches, what makes him think I want to hear more of his meaningless rubbish?

PP (finally understanding the true depths of her anguish): My goodness, darling, I haven’t seen you so distraught in months. Let me fix you a nightcap.

(PP goes to the credenza beside the bed, pours them both scotches, and brings her drink over to her.)

HMQE (miserably accepting the drink): Thank you, darling, thank you. I’m really quite beside myself. That awful woman TOUCHED me. And did you see what she was wearing? It didn’t even fit her properly! Can’t she afford a good tailor?

PP: I must say her appearance surprised me as well. The Americans are always going on and on about how sophisticated and stylish she is. I admit, I just don’t see it.

HMQE (maliciously): Well, it’s hard to see something that isn’t there, darling. J. Crew is not exactly haute couture, is it? And who in the world is this Isabel Toledo woman?

(She takes a sip of her drink)

PP: She might at least have had the decency to wear a British designer.

HMQE: Well, at least we didn’t bother to give them anything special. Poor Gordon felt like a fool for putting so much thought into his gifts. Oh, and wasn’t it lovely the way that Mr. Obama parked in front of the gate our family uses to enter the palace? That gauche American car he calls “The Beast,” squatting like a toad outside our ancestral home! Really, it’s all too, too unbearable!

(HMQE and PP sip their drinks in silence, downcast. Finally, HMQE speaks.)

HMQE (with dawning hope): Tell me, darling. Am I still allowed to behead people?

PP (gently): I’m afraid not, darling.

HMQE (back into despondency): Oh.

(recovering her composure)

Ah well. Chin up, I suppose. One never knows what tomorrow may bring.

(She and PP climb back into bed)

PP: That’s the stuff, darling. Don’t let them get to you! Now, let’s go to sleep. We have a big day tomorrow.

HMQE: Don’t remind me. Frankly, I’d rather go to EuroDisney.

PP: Me too, darling. Me too. Just do what we’ve been doing for the past eight years: Smile, and think of England.

HMQE: You’re right as always, Philip. Good night!

(In unison, they pull out their matching black silk embroidered sleeping masks, reading “QUEEN” and “CONSORT,” and place them over their eyes.)

(LIGHTS OUT.)

Cross-posted at Partizane

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125 responses to “The Obamas Meet the Queen: A Play in One Embarrassing Act.

  1. I posted this below — the spin is in — MO didn’t break protocol, she charmed the Queen into breaking protocol.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090402/ap_on_re_eu/g20_michelle_obama;_ylt=AsrswefsMpAjqsLag85mKCJbbBAF;_ylu=X3oDMTE5dWk2YW83BHBvcwMyBHNlYwN5bi1tb3N0LXZpZXdlZARzbGsDbWljaGVsbGVvYmFt

    Believe it or Else!

  2. Geez, it gets worse — it seems that in a joint press conference with Brown (you know, like the one Obama denied Brown when he came here), Obama used “England” and “Great Britain” interchangeably. What Obama does not know, and what the rest of the world does, is that England is only part of Britain, and has been for centuries. Great Britain (aka UK) includes England, Wales, and Scotland.

    Whatta moron.

  3. Angie – one of the links I put in the play was a puff piece on how warm and charming Michelle Obama is and that everyone who meets her comes out “sprinkled with fairy dust”.

    Yes, this is “journalism.”

  4. Yay! Love the play.

    Also love this photo of Hillary yesterday, looks like Obama is trying to get a good look at her notes in case someone asks him a question.

    http://www.daylife.com/photo/0fQ52yYdiKgJl?q=Hillary+Rodham+Clinton

  5. This is like an adventure to wally world. What are they the Griswolds?

    Name for movie ~ EUROBAMA Vacation!

  6. LOL, soupcity! That’s EXACTLY what he’s doing!

    πŸ™‚

  7. You know it MB! Have a great day all!

  8. Atleast the queen wasn’t too tired to give them a proper welcome!

    Love the play!

  9. Wonderful, madamab! You’ve written some real zingers, like “I’m surprised [Bush] didn’t ask me to pull his finger!” and “That gauche American car he calls β€œThe Beast,” squatting like a toad outside our ancestral home!” Love the details about their reading material and quaint nightcaps. I can visualize the entire scene.

    I’m honored that my comment tickled your muse.

    I checked out the links and had to smirk about the spin (as Angie noted) on MO’s breach of protocol. I’m sure she’s inviting the Queen to be her Facebook friend even as we speak. Oh, and did you catch the comment at the end of “Mars” last night about President Obama being a “she”? I literally cringed at that one.

  10. soupcity: great find! I always knew he was the cheating-off-your-smart-classmate type.

  11. I say, Madamab – jolly good show! While the world is laughing at the provincial shiney new Preznit couple, the media attempts to provide cover. Fool that I am, I was shocked that CNN would spout such dribble as MO being so charming – gag!

    OT but Jim Cramer is now stating the “depression” ended in March – just a couple more months of mild recession and everything will be peachy. Maybe that is code for the administration is going to suck the American Treasury dry paying off all of BZero’s big contributors in that time frame and would the little people please start emptying any savings they have back into Wall Street. They are so clever no?

  12. Boo Radly – How many jobs were lost last month? Almost 700,000, right?

    This is not going away any time. soon.

  13. Great work, Mad. I love your plays and this one was no different. It was hilarious actually.

    Who the hell is in the Protocal Office? They need to be fired. They just fail at everythihng. Jeez, when do they get their 3rd strike already?

  14. I think it must go something like this regency.

    You know he’s got a bunch of cheetoh eatin sexist twenty somethings that do the grunt work for him. So they sit back and say, hey I would love that as a gift. And let’s get it engraved. And let’s put the great man’s speeches on it and to not be too pretentious let’s include some video of the queen herself too. less she catch on what a complete narcissist our boss is.

    and there you have it.

    Ipods, and dvd’s, next are video games.

    Mark my words. Video Games are next.

    Those are the gifts those immature bobots like so they think everyone will love them.

  15. Madam
    The play was great. You have a wonderful way with words.
    Whatever backtrack’s grandparents paid for that private school, they got ripped off.
    No class and Low class. There are some people you just let out in public.

    WOMEN WITH INTELLIGENCE AND EXPERIENCE,MEN WHO SUPPORT THEM AND COUNTRY BEFORE PARTY ALWAYS

    PUMAS,BUBBAS,EQUALISTS AND THOSE PEOPLE RULE

  16. SHOULD READ
    there are some people you just DON’T let out in public

  17. LOL everyone! Thanks.

    Taggles – I think you are right on the money.

    He’s going to see Medvedev in July. He’ll probably give the guy a Wii or an XBox!

  18. Jules –

    Oh, and did you catch the comment at the end of β€œMars” last night about President Obama being a β€œshe”? I literally cringed at that one.

    Don’t worry jules – the remark referred to one of his daughters, I’m sure, because the next line was something about “her father is very ill.”

    Malia or Sasha could turn out to be great women – you never know. So, not as bad as you thought.

    πŸ™‚

  19. Regency — Obama hasn’t actually hired anyone to be chief of protocol.

  20. By the way – HI REGENCY!!!

    Catch Regency, AngieNC, SOD and me on Wednesday, April 8th on The View from Under The Bus at 8 pm!

    http://theviewfromunderthebus.wordpress.com

    And don’t forget to tune into No We Won’t this Sunday evening at 8 pm with me, AngieNC and Sheri Tags!

    http://www.blogtalkradio.com/no-we-wont

  21. You know what else Obama needs? He needs his jaw wired shut. He is acting like he is at a party over there instead of working (no big surprise, I guess). Here is what he said about Luiz Inacio Lula de Silva (President of Brazil):

    “That’s my man right here,” President Obama said this morning at the G-20 summit as Brazil President Luiz Inacio Lula de Silva approached him. “Love this guy. He’s the most popular politican on earth. It’s because of his good looks.”

    Lula, btw is unattractive so I think that last bit was meant as humor in Obama’s trademark “special olympics” kind of way. But this is what Lula had to say on the economy just yesterday:

    Lula said that the global economic crisis “was fostered and boosted by irrational behaviour of people that are white, blue-eyed, that before the crisis looked like they knew everything about economics.”

    β€˜Now they have demonstrated that they don’t know anything about economics,” said Lula, adding that “no black man or woman, no indigenous person, no poor person” can be held responsible.

    Yeah, this is the guy we need to be buddy-buddy with.

  22. angie – That’s the kind of sweeping racial and class statement that Obama would make.

    On a lighter note, remember that Lula just absolved Obama of all responsibility for anything, ever, because of his skin color. That fits in line perfectly with Obama’s “It’s all someone else’s fault” philosophy.

    No wonder Obama loves him so much!

  23. Thanks, madamab, for picking up on that. And you took the words right out of my mouth that a wii will be the next gift. Taggles — your theory makes sense.

    angie: Geez, I don’t know what’s the worst part of what Obama said. He’s so phony and he thinks he’s being witty but his humor is always at someone else’s expense. And yukking it up with someone who said that about whites vs. blacks doesn’t help matters at all.

    In other news: a Blago indictment looks imminent. Hmmmm….

  24. I am thinking an Xbox 360 though. More his style.

    One day for this, next for that! Under the bus you go!

  25. Taggles – is there a link to Blago news? Wonder how Reszko is holding up? Chicago sure does provide Fitzgerald with a lot of “work”.. what a surprise. Hope PF’s days are not numbered.

    I used the google – Thursday looks to be the day it may come down.

  26. Hmmm…I wonder who the other defendants will be.

    At one point it did seem that Rahm Emanuel and Jesse Jackson Jr. would be targets of the investigation.

    Is Karma a PUMA?

    πŸ‘Ώ

  27. Hello, I have been trying to find you guys . Loved the play MB! Needed a good laugh today.

  28. Angie, well doesn’t that answer everything. They should just start giving out IOU tickets.

  29. TRK!!! So great to see you.

    How’s your son?

  30. Great to see you too!

    AS to my son thank you for asking, but he is not so good, his girlfriend pulled the usual girlfriend stunt and has left for parts unknown with his 18 month old son.

  31. As always, great play!

  32. Your son comes home in July right Kim?

    _______

    Hey FLVoter!

  33. TRK> Holy shit! That’s awful about your son’s girlfriend!!! I hope you guys can track her down. And I hope your son is back home soon.

  34. Thanks FLVoter!

    Kim – I’m so sorry. Good thoughts to you and your son, as always!

  35. Thank you and I didn’t want it to be a bummer for anyone.

    We have a partner at my firm, who has tried many of these cases, so we are keeping our fingers crossed that it all works out.

    My son will be home in July and we can get the ball moving then.

    It is just to hard as a mom to hear the sadness and there isn’t a damn thing I can do. Not to mention, the child had lived in my home since he was born and I miss him so much.

    But the play rocked and made me smile again, so thank you and I am glad I found all you guys.

  36. Bella Napoli

    Great Play, madamab.I am still laughing at that “J Crew is not exactly haute couture, now is it?”
    By the way CNN is still trying to make MO everything to everyone, beauty…blah..blah…blah…Style….blah…blah…blah…the bestest “First Spouse”of all times anywhere in the world…blah…blah…blah…
    Meanwhile, the Obots of my acquaintance are saying, re MO touching the Queen: “That protocol is ancient, it must predate the Crusades, it needed changing…”
    And there you have it.

  37. TRK,

    I wish your son all the best. Custody matters are always heartbreaking. Many years ago I was a Guardian Ad Litem for cases involving custody. Incredibly difficult for all parties to bear and difficult to shield the child. Hopefully, all parties can reach an acceptable resolution quickly.

  38. Hey back Taggles! I think this site is slowly getting me to rethink by retirement. I am feeling more at “home.”

  39. I’m sure before the Crusades touching the Queen would get your head chopped off. So the protocol has, indeed, changed since then. MO is still in one piece.

  40. Damn Kim – that is utterly dreadful of her. Maybe she will rethink this action. I pray she does. As I recall, your son is due back in July but you did mention the possibility of him being S/L. I had hoped that practice would be stopped and thought it was.

  41. No retirement, FL! We need all hands on deck!

  42. Taggles, Thank you! It’s nice to feel wanted πŸ™‚

  43. “How many jobs were lost last month? Almost 700,000, right?”

    But, but, Teh One has a plan, everyone will get jobs and 401ks and ponies and all the great things we ‘mericans need!!!!

    of course I believe in Unicorns and dragons too………

    *miss you at TC MB!*

  44. Even if the plan is just formulating a plan, there is a plan to formulate a plan. πŸ˜‰

  45. garychapelhill

    Oh brother…

    Constant news coverage of President Barack Obama since he took office less than three months ago is warranted considering the economic crisis facing the country, panelists at a media symposium said Wednesday.

    “Obama’s doing it all at once so our judgments are coming at a fast and furious rate,” New York Times columnist David Brooks said before a panel discussion called “Obama and the Press: Is the media doing its job?” at Texas Christian University.

    In other news, the mafia reports that it is doing a heck of a job policing the streets of Chicago…

  46. (((FLVoter)))

  47. You are all so welcome here. Thank you for coming by!

    Actually, I do believe the constant media coverage is warranted. We are in a time of deep crisis in America and what our President is doing about it is very important to know.

    It’s the constant media FLUFFING that I find so disgusting.If they would ever ONCE report the truth I would be a lot happier!

    And how DARE they try to make MO the bestest First Lady ever! She is not fit to wipe Eleanor, LadyBird, Dolly or Hillary’s boots!

  48. Gary- Obama is doing “what” all? And since when should the press have judgments at all, let alone coming at a fast and furious rate (objective fact in a slow methodical way would be so refreshing)? Heaven forbid. I think the answer to the panel’s question is a resounding “no”.

  49. This is the same thing they did for Bush.

    It’s like the never ending saga. Will we ever live to see the day of a media that does its job again?

    When the media propagates fallacies and bs, america loses.

    sigh…..

  50. and add to that:

    i thought bush was a neophyte.

    This guy is a pre-neophyte.

  51. garychapelhill

    I think he’s a preen-opyte πŸ™‚

  52. LOL gary!

    Both he and Bush love to strut their non-existent stuff!

    I saw this worshipful nonsense at Not Your Sweetie’s today. EOF quoted Penn Gillette, who is the mayor of Obotia. Just check out this mindblowing crapola:

    President Obama is so damn smart. He just drips smart. He clearly understands stuff that we could never understand. He’s trustworthy. If Obama were teaching fire-eating, we would all learn fast. If he told you that the burns would be minor and the fire would go out when you closed your mouth, you’d believe him. If I weren’t twice his weight, I’d fall back with my eyes closed into his caring arms in one of those cheesy ’70s church trust exercises. He could talk me into anything.

    No, no, there’s nothing cultish about Obots. Why do you ask?

  53. Bella Napoli

    Madamab, that is my take on all that fluffing and propping up of MO at CNN: they didn’t actually say she was the bestest of the best…

    (just trying to be “perfectly clear”)

  54. funny, gary! OT- I just noticed how pissed Prince Phillip looks in the above picture. Kind of like my dad when the relatives hung out too long.

  55. Let’s see, First Ladies over whom the media has fawned…hmmmm…Barbara Bush, Laura Bush, and Michelle Obama.

    First Ladies skewered by the media…Nancy Reagan and Hillary Clinton.

    I think I’d rather be in the latter group!

  56. Whoops! Forgot the link.

  57. In most of the pics you see, they cut poor philip out!

    Just BO MO and queenie!

  58. garychapelhill

    Penn Jillette is an a&#hole. Here’s a clip of him making the joke that “obama did well in Feb. because it was black history month, Hillary did well in Feb because it was white b#@h month.

    Nice of CNN to give such a sexist jacka@# a forum….

  59. Three Wickets

    Great MB!! Your plays always bring a big grin. πŸ™‚

    Angie is of course right about BO confusing Great Britain with England. But for an official visit, he might have gone further and said United Kingdom which is the formal name for the sovereign state, and includes the province of Northern Ireland as well. That is unless BO consciously intended to say GB and not UK as a shout out to the splinter terror group calling themselves the New IRA who have been deadly in recent weeks. A global concern since some renegade IRA organizations have a history of providing arms and training to terrorists within militant groups like FARC in Columbia and the PLO and Hamas. Hillary or George Mitchell would be keenly aware and sensitive to these nuances. But with BO, it’s unlikely. Apologies for the digression. These world events affect us too, which is why I sleep better with Hill out there.

  60. TW – That is really interesting about the New IRA.

    I completely agree – HRC is the only bright light I see. If she had not smoothed over Obama’s misstep in Russia (where he threatened them with “Star Wars” if they didn’t do what we wanted them to), I believe there is no way that he and Medvedev would even be speaking right now.

  61. 3W- I have a difficult time determining whether some of BO’s flubs are intentionally cunning, passive aggressive, or sheer stupidity and ignorance. I think it is a mix, with a preponderance of the latter.

  62. lililam — well, I’d rule out “cunning” as a possibility for anything Obama does. He ain’t that smart.

  63. i vote for passive aggressive!

    did you hear what he told that democratic congressman from Oregon who voted against the stimulus bill.

    “don’t think we’re not keeping score, brother”

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123862834153780427.html

  64. As for that misogynistic wanker Penn Jillette all I have to say is: “Obama isn’t smart, dear. You’re just a moron. “

  65. yeah, obama’s a genius compared to penn jillette! LOL Angie!

    And that is saying NOTHING!

  66. taggles — thanks for the link, even if it is from turdblossom.
    I have one question though — now Valerie Jarrett is “Senior presidential advisor” — I thought she was the head of that b.s. council on women & girls. Guess it was even more b.s. than I though.

  67. Yeah, i know the source is awful, but the quote is still true.

    You know one meglomaniac can always easily identify another!!

  68. I watched literally 30 seconds of obama’s private press conference today, you know the one he had to have all to himself and wouldn’t participate in the one with all the other heads of states and this is what I heard him say:

    We have good strong culture! (something like that)

  69. How awful that Obama threatened that Rep. from Oregon. I saw him on teevee and he was saying that the reason he opposed the stimulus bill was because there wasn’t enough “stimulus” in it. I think he’s the chairman of the committee which oversees infrastructure and his complaint was that there is a desperate need for money for infrastructure but relatively little of it in the bill.

    He called bullshit on the administration for trying to pretend that the bill would vastly improve infrustructure. He’s one of the few people in congress with the courage to tell the truth.

    (snark) I wonder if CK will give him a “Profiles in Courage” award?

  70. yes janicen, you are right. that rep was upset because the stimulus didn’t have enough stimuli for infrastructure.

  71. garychapelhill

    I can’t effing believe this…

    A new Afghan law makes it legal for men to rape their wives, human rights groups and some Afghan lawmakers said Thursday, accusing President Hamid Karzai of signing the legislation to bolster his re-election prospects. Critics worry the legislation undermines hard-won rights for women enacted after the fall of the Taliban’s strict Islamist regime.

    This can not stand if they want us to continue to sacrifice our soldiers lives to defend them. Where is Obama?????

  72. Stateofdisbelief

    angie

    now Valerie Jarrett is β€œSenior presidential advisor” β€” I thought she was the head of that b.s. council on women & girls.

    Hey…you got your commission. Stop looking for more — like having the committee meet or something. Stop being so ungrateful to teh precious for his empty gesture.

    πŸ˜‰

  73. Gary – I know. I wish I had all day to write about everything!

    I have known for at least a year that we had no mission in Afghanistan. Zero. And now, here’s proof that UnoCal U.S. puppet Karzai is no better than the Taliban.

    Tomorrow’s post is going to be about Obama and war. I will definitely be covering this atrocity.

  74. Did you see the video of BO BOWING to the Saudi
    king before the group photo? It gives me the creeps. Such subservience is questionable.
    See at NQ for the link
    http://tinyurl.com/cdvod4

  75. bluelady — thanks for the link — who’dda thunk it — the President of the United States of America bowing? He really is a f*cking moron & the people who voted for him are even dumber than he is because they think he’s teh shit.

    did y’all see that the Obamas went to the UK with a 500 person entourage, including personal trainer and full cooking staff, 2 planes, 5 helicopters, 200 secret services agents, “the Beast” (the huge ass caddy that he parked in the wrong place @ the palace) and a full fleet of cars, plus tankers of American fuel to run it all.

    Jesus Christmas — if he is going to act like a king he should know better than to bow to other kings.

  76. Gary: thanks for posting that bit about the new Afghan law. I’d say I’m shocked, but sadly, I’m not. Let’s not hold our breath waiting for Obama to speak out against it. Hopefully Hillary will have something to say.
    ————
    angienc2 // April 2, 2009 at 8:48 pm said:
    “He really is a f*cking moron & the people who voted for him are even dumber than he is because they think he’s teh shit.”

    Well said, in a way that only Angie can say it. Snap!
    ——–
    See you all tomorrow!

  77. Silly Obama, reminding us all who REALLY runs American foreign policy!

    My husband reminded me that Ronald Reagan, that incredibly super-patriotic lover of America, was actually knighted by the Queen of England.

    Guess Obama is a royalty worshiper, just like his hero Ronnie.

  78. Jules — πŸ˜‰ See y’all later doll!

    I’m out too — watching The Darjeeling Limited & then bed– anyone who hasn’t seen it, I highly recommend it (and if you have seen it — see it again –like I’m doing).

  79. Thanks for making me laugh, madamab and everyone else. The play was great. I spent the day in my car, wanting to throw up each time I’d hear how STUPENDOUS both of them are.

    The first day they would show clips that caught him unposed for a few seconds. He’d look serious, bored, kind of spacy, then he’d see the camera and break out into that big big stupid sh*teating grin. How does he keep that pose for so long. Everyone else is serious (it’s serious business), but he’s there looking and acting like an adolescent. Probably one of his PR people noticed how phony it looks, so now they only show him scripted. He looks so pleased with himself. Never mind that it’s supposed to be about suffering people and a world in a big mess.
    Then the media tells us he’s the greatest pres evah. Evah. The hero who saved the whole conference.

    But they never say what was actually decided there. Was anything?

    It gets surrealer and surrealer.

    And Kim, that’s terrible about your son and your grandchild. Hope you get the baby back soon.

  80. Night jules and angie!

    Speaktruth – what was decided was that the IMF (International Monetary Fund) would get a huge infusion of cash. We’re talking hundreds of billions.

    This is the same IMF that is used by the corporatocracy to blackmail third-world countries into allowing American companies to “develop” them. (Confessions of an Economic Hitman – great book.) The CIA and the multinational corporations “convince” the leaders of these countries to let their national resources be plundered. In return, they either prop up the leaders, or kill them and replace them with more amenable leaders. In sum, any money that is given to the IMF is only given in the service of further enriching our corporate overlords.

    As for re-regulating the financial sector, Sarkozy and Merkel seemed happy. But I have no idea what they really wanted, or what was really agreed to by the other nations.

  81. Thanks, madamab. That is an amazing book. I recommend it, too. I spent a few weekends and a week in workshops with the writer, John Perkins, at Omega Institute. He’s very cool. There were shamans from around the world teaching their stuff, which is what he did after plundering the countries. Lived in the Amazon, joined the other side.
    I don’t remember the IMF role, though. Have to reread.

  82. Three Wickets

    That book sounds like an interesting read MB. Will try picking it up. Guess in many ways, world history is the story of unfettered imperialism by the strong over the weak, and the CIA in more recent times served that role for the US. Glad they’ve been neutered. Yes, those euphemisms like “develop” and “emerging” markets can be deceptive or disparaging at the edges. I imagine these nations, most with long and amazing histories, being referred to as “emerging” today, as if they are stepping out of some dark cave because they don’t live in societies with enough two car garages.

    Though, I wouldn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater on the IMF. They are not as rotten as the World Bank, imo. A resource rich nation like Indonesia has been pacified and plundered by the Dutch, Japanese, Americans and everyone else for the past five centuries. But they did gain their independence after WWII, and when they had their big economic crisis a decade ago, the IMF helped them get back on their feet. Well, I can think of a harsh analogy here, but I’ll hold my tongue. In any case, the extra 1 trillion that the IMF is getting will provide some confidence to weak knee’d economies that there is a safety net, so they don’t need to “demerge” so to speak, and for those who do need help, there will be help. And no shame in that. During the past six months, the US has become a willing dependent on the biggest financial safety net in the history of mankind. Will be good to get off the methadone at some point in our future.

  83. Well! So here’s where Angie and DYB have shown up! I’m glad I found ya and I see Gary here too.

    Mind if I make myself to home? πŸ˜‰

  84. Pingback: Tabloids lose it completely « Not Your Sweetie

  85. Heh, heh – so this is where all the fun was! I was so starved for a new play and no one gave ME an I-pod!;-)
    I just discovered this entry – and itmade my day!

  86. Three Wickets

    Do all baby birds hatch at the same time in the Spring. Cause the massive chirping outside our window is out of control. I don’t recall it being at quite this crescendo in past years. Is this global warming again.

  87. Fredster, EOF – you are welcome anytime!

  88. Just released video of Obama in Europe taking a brief side vacation:

  89. Carla Bruni sez “I’m not your sweetie…keep your lips at a distance.”

    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2359022.ece

  90. TOTUS is doing a “townhall” in France. Obama joined him.

  91. sod: hahahaha! So Carla wouldn’t give BO the French “bise.” Now THAT is a snub! I can’t wait to show that photo to my husband (a Frenchie). Oh, I can’t stop laughing! And to think CNN yesterday was saying that Carla was afraid to stand next to Michelle! OMG — that is tooo rich!

  92. garychapelhill

    SOD, that picture is hilarious. MO’s puss looks like it is trying to escape from her face too to get away from Sarkozy, LOL!! Did you see the inset pic of obama with his pinky to his lips with the caption “I demand 1 trillion dollars” like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers? too funny…

  93. Gary – OMG! That’s what I SAID on The View from Under the Bus almost two weeks ago. I call copyright enfringement!

    πŸ˜‰

    Open thread up top. Enjoy!

  94. Three Wickets

    Hey Fredster, Hey Wednesday.

    Web says baby birds are in fact hatching earlier in the year, but the worms and insects they need for food are not following the pattern, hence hungrier birds in the morning. For about a half hour though, it really sounds like a scene from that movie The Birds. Nice enough way to wake up.

  95. Trolls make for awkward posting.

  96. LOL Regency!

    Yup, I zapped him. I have a zero tolerance policy for nasty Obots.

    πŸ™‚

  97. Three Wickets

    But I had such fun with the response.

  98. G**, Michelle obama even stood between the Queen and the Prince. I weep for our nation.

  99. You guys should ask nicely and maybe HM will let the US join her Commonwealth. We might just forgive you for 1776 and forcing us into bankrupcy during WW2 to ensure we ditched the empire you so envied – but these are testing times, and we all need all the friends we can get.

    Incidentally, the Commonwealth countries have the capacity to produce all the food that its member nations would need for the foreseeable (including climate change) future. The UK alone and EU most certainly does not.

  100. LOL TMAP and RitaMae!

  101. Hey madamab, I’m, being serious. Why not? The US has no love the UN – which is basically the nice Commonwealth countries plus all the a**holes like France, the Arab countries and SA drug producers. AND you guys would get most of the mdeals at the next Commonwelath games. No brainer.

  102. But what would we do with Puerto Rico? We have our OWN Commonwealth now that we are all growed up!

    BTW…New Iraq post above.

  103. Puerto Rico would be most welcome, it would pretty much give us a “full house” in the Caribbean apart from a few French aberrations.

  104. And don’t forget the Dutch – they’re still holding onto a few, like my fave, Aruba.

    But hell no, we’re not giving you guys Puerto Rico. It’s a deal breaker!

    You’ll just have to be satisfied with DVDs that don’t play and an iPod. Sucks to be you!

    πŸ˜‰

  105. Why can’t I find my comments?!?!

  106. HumboldtBlue

    I think referring to Hillary as “the Hambeast” is the height of cleverness.

    But then, it’s tough to think with my head shoved so firmly up my ass.

  107. Why do you think we would want Puerto Rico? You are welcome to hang on to whatever fringe possessions you want. The Commonwealth is an inclusive club for those who mostly celebrate not having been conquered by the French, Germans or Spanish.

  108. TMAP – Hmmm. I think we are getting somewhere with our negotiations.

    But wait – what about our flag and currency? We do love our stars and stripes, and I don’t see us going to the Euro.

    Nope, sorry. We’re not coming back to jolly old England!

    πŸ™‚

  109. TMAP, sorry, American anglophiles will worship from afar. You drive funny and don’t make appliances big enough for us.

    Plus, there’s the matter of heating a house. Y’all haven’t quite got the hang of it yet. ;-

  110. TMAP // April 3, 2009 at 2:31 pm

    Why do you think we would want Puerto Rico?

    The rum of course.

  111. don’t forget the beaches, fredster!

  112. Oh of course Taggles and Ricki Martin for those so inclined!

  113. of course, madamab, shake your bon bon, who wouldn’t be so inclined?

  114. T: I’m not fond of his music. The bootie-shakin’ is a different matter. πŸ˜†

  115. an entirely different matter that is, fredster! πŸ˜‰

  116. LOL, what is going on with you two?

    πŸ™‚

  117. don’t be crimpin our style madamab! LOL

  118. I dunno. ❓

    TMAP made a comment about P.R. and taggles and I just sorta took off from there. πŸ™‚

    We went from rum, to beaches to Ricky Martin. A natural progression…

  119. Fine, shake your moneymakers, you two!!

    I’m going to go firm mine up at the gym. It was a long, hard, unemployed, bloggy winter!

    πŸ˜‰

  120. It’s about time for me to go visit the momster at the nursing facility. She should be wrapping up physical therapy now. We’ve had a round or two about that and I **think** I won. She’s going to do it. Plus, she was supposed to get her hair washed and cut today. I’ll need to make a fuss over it with her. πŸ™‚

  121. catch ya on the back side fredsta!

  122. oops meant “flip” side! LOL πŸ™‚

  123. You guys all have completely the wrong idea. The British Commonwealth is a club for countries formerly part of the British Empire (ie those countries we saved from the French, Spanish, Germans. Italians etc) – it’s not the British Empire.

    We let all COmmonwealth countries have their own flags – look at the drab leaf on Canada’s, for example. Although if they have any sense of style or occasion, they still keep the union flag in a corner – like Australia and New Zealand.

    And like you, we don’t make any appliances either – like you, all ours come from Korea. We have so much in common… like you, we assemble Japanese and German cars …like you we don’t have decent cuisine of our own but borrow from around the world. See, we are STILL the same people at heart. Mi monarch es tu monarch!