A Preview of Tonight’s Debate Questions from Gwen Ifill

What Did She Say?

What Did She Say?

Since it has come to light that Gwen Ifill, tonight’s moderator for the VP debate, has written a book about Barack Obama timed to be released on Inauguration Day, questions have arisen about whether or not she can be objective in her questions. John McCain has said he thinks she will be, and I think so too! Just because she is counting on Obama’s win to push her book to the bestseller’s list does not mean she will have an agenda tonight.

In fact, Ms. Ifill is aware of the concern, and has responded in a typical journalistically professional manner.

Ifill questions why people assume that her book will be favorable toward Obama.

“Do you think they made the same assumptions about Lou Cannon (who is white) when he wrote his book about Reagan?” said Ifill, who is black. Asked if there were racial motives at play, she said, “I don’t know what it is. I find it curious.”

I find her response most enlightening. I am sure that she will be just as objective as she can be. And to prove it, I’ve gotten a preview of her questions, from various sources across the intertoobz:

Mayor Palin, Barack Obama is a handsome, charismatic demigod. How many boxes of Kleenex will you need after your crushing loss?

Senator Biden, what is your favorite color? And if you have time for a follow-up question: Why?

Mayor, you talk funny and you own a tanning bed. Why haven’t you released Trig’s birth certificate?

Senator, have you seen those pictures of Obama in his swim trunks? If not, I have them right here.

Mayor, what are the names, ages, and blood types of all 71 members of the Belgian Senate? And why are you unwilling to admit that your inability to instantly produce any and every fact I demand makes you unfit to stand in the way of history?

Senator, you’ve spoken at length. Could you please continue?  (***this may be my favorite)

Mayor, which is your preferred method of stifling dissent, banning books or burning them? Since it’s both, please explain how you can deny the accusation that you’re a fascist, which I am making now.

Senator, could you please sign my book?

My own email contained a few questions as well:

Ms. Palin, if you are elected Vice President, how many more children will American women be forced to bear in the name of Jesus?

Senator, which is more appealing, your smile or your famous sense of humor? I say both. Am I right?

Sarah, I heard Downs’ Syndrome is caused by too much moose meat. Are you a bad mother, or a horrible mother? 

Senator, you have years of experience and expertise in foreign policy that make the Mayor look like a high school student in comparison. Do you agree or disagree?

Sarah, you are showing a lot of cleavage tonight. Are you deliberately trying to win votes with your breasts, or are you always this slutty?

Senator, is Barack Obama great, awesome or incredible?

Any other contributions out there?

Oh, in case you can’t tell, THIS IS SNARK. If you want to follow the debate with the Conflucian gang, join us tonight on PUMA United Radio! We will most likely be having an extended show tonight, hosted by Sheri Tag and Murphy of PUMAPac. Updated times and station information to be posted later…

Cross-posted at The Confluence

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8 responses to “A Preview of Tonight’s Debate Questions from Gwen Ifill

  1. Mayor Palin, your religious devotion is well known but how does that square with the fact that your husband is part Eskimo and it is an established fact that Christians regard traditional Native beliefs and pagan and hell bound? Does he actually wear one of those wooden masks while having sex with you as widely reported by unnamed sources?

    Senator, please inform the viewers of your wife’s hobbies.

  2. Well-done, goesh!

    🙂

  3. You are too damn much…..I love it!

  4. Sare, does this dress I’m wearing make YOU look fat? As a follow-up, why was your reply so racist and weightist?

    Hon. Senator Obama how can you possibly help it when people in your audiences faint at your awesomeness? (I happen to be in a deep swoon right now!) As a follow-up, why do other candidates keep insulting you by continuing to run in this election?

  5. Ellie – LOLOLOLOL!!!!

    Too bad Obama isn’t in this debate, because I think she really WOULD ask him that question!

  6. ParkSlopeVoter

    Senator Biden, what is the capital of Delaware?

    Mayor Palin, at what point will you throw in the towel, in light of the fact that you are hopelessly outclassed by your rival?

    -MS

  7. Hee hee hee, PSV!

  8. You say it is snark. We’ll see.

    Great list.