The Democratic National Convention, Day 1: Triumph of the Won’t

The Democratic Convention Stage

The Democratic Convention Stage

Note: Please see The Confluence for exciting PUMA updates all day long. She will be live-blogging from Denver!

Hello, Undecided Voter, and welcome to the first night of the Democratic National Convention! The theme is supposed to be “One America” but, of course, it’s nothing of the sort.

Tonight’s secret theme is: “No We Won’t.”

Will we give you a reason to vote Democratic? Play the politics of contrast? Lay out a clear, positive and hopeful platform for the future?

No, we won’t.

Will we show one iota of respect to the legacy of Bill Clinton, the most successful two-term Democratic President since FDR?

No, we won’t.

Will we parade a dazzling cavalcade of old and new stars of the Democratic Party, a group of dynamic and excited speakers to inspire those who might still be on the fence?

No, we won’t.

Will we, in short, do anything but congratulate ourselves on selecting Barack Obama as our nominee?

No, we won’t.

Hey, DNC, do you really think we’ll be voting for Obama in the fall?

No, we won’t.

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9 responses to “The Democratic National Convention, Day 1: Triumph of the Won’t

  1. I have 2 questions:
    1) Are you going to vote for John McCain this fall?
    2) If so, what policy proposals do Hillary and John McCain really have in common?

  2. Anunlovedone – since you actually are asking real questions, I didn’t delete you.

    1) No. Right now, I’m protest voting for Cynthia McKinney.
    2) N/A.

    Anything else I can help you with?

  3. The horrible, boring first night of the convention, along with barackula’s keyboard terrorists wreaking havoc on the blogs, is not going to bring anyone over to that boy’s side!

    I love James Carville and he got it exactly correct:

    On Monday, James Carville, who managed Bill Clinton’s successful 1992 campaign, told CNN: “If this party has a message, it’s done a hell of a job hiding it tonight, I promise you that”.

    Too bad Dean, Pelosi, Reid, Brazile and company, couldn’t take time out from backstabbing and try to do the right thing for America and the party, which means NO OBAMA!!

    GO HILLARY!!!

  4. Congratulations, madamab, for another brilliant satire on the dog and pony show! And knowing as well as I do, I see another playlet on the horizon. You have been offered so many scenarios at this point in time it must be difficult to separate which one to use. Betting on you once again to create another winner to for “The Confluence Theater”.

  5. PJ – Thank you, Madame Speaker! πŸ™‚

    I am sitting back and letting the regular Conflucians do their things for a while. After the Convention is over, expect another playlet for your enjoyment! πŸ˜‰

  6. republican in seattle

    With regards to the first commentor, Hillary does have more in common with McCain where it counts than she does with Obamessiah. She actually is much closer to him on FP whereas Obama is more interested in becoming President of the world or something. Someone please tell him that position doesn’t exist yet. πŸ˜‰

    Anyway, just stopping in to say I’m enjoying the blog here. I’m not being a troll, I really am a R although I really wanted Giuliani to get the R nod for what it’s worth. Oh, and yes, I am jumping up and down that Obama picked Biden. I was deathly afraid he’d pick Kathleen Sebelius and therefore not only bring a woman onto the ticket (would that be friendly to the PUMAs? I don’t know) but also bring KS few electoral votes from red to blue. But he picked Biden who is so bland that I’m sure Conan will recycle the Lieberman snoozing jokes for Biden this season and Delaware was never going to be in play as anything other than straight blue state. Plus, Biden is at least as much of a gaffe-o-matic as Obamessiah. Is it bad that I’m looking forward to all the jokes this time around?

    Go PUMAs. Keep up the good fight. I really did want Hillary to at least get the nomination because I really do care about the country beyond my partisan R view. If I have to see a Democrat take the WH, I want one who isn’t perpetually clueless about FP. I know other Rs who are with me in this opinion too. Plus it helps that she finally got to understand what it feels like to have the media against you 24/7 just like Rs do every second of our lives.

  7. Thank you, republican!

    I believe there are a lot of people out there for whom country is more important than Party. Many Republicans know, although they don’t want to acknowledge it, that Hillary has what it takes to be a great President. If she won the White House, they might not be thrilled, but at least they know the country would be in experienced, capable hands.

  8. republican in seattle

    Take heart. I have another spot I post at of just moms and when a member recently put up a poll, McCain has twice the votes of Obama and the “I won’t vote” crowd is probably half the number of the Obama votes. There are quite a few very articulate feminist minded moms there who comment almost exactly along the same lines. So despite whatever the polls say, in my little slice of America on that board (which in 2006 did accurately reflect the midterm result), Obama is getting very trounced.

  9. Thanks, Republican…I have been positive since the Wright scandal came out that America was going to reject Obama. It’s good to hear some numbers that support my conjectures!