Dear Hillary….

you had a bad day yesterday.

After months and months of being the front-runner, then having both Barack Obama and John Edwards beat you in Iowa, then seeing your national lead evaporate and Obama look like he’s ready to sweep New Hampshire, you finally cracked. A few tears choked your voice. You started making stupid comparisons…and the worst of the worst, you used a “vote for me or die” strategy that would make KKKarl Rove smile.

You know what? Everyone has bad days. You can survive this if you truly want to. You can apologize and blame it on campaign stress. Americans can relate to stress after 6 long years of George W. Bush’s Reign of Error.

But if you want to stay in the race, to run a 50-state strategy, like your husband, who didn’t win the first five states he ran in, then you need to pull yourself together and realize that Obama is offering two things you cannot offer:

1) He has a penis.
2) His name is not Clinton.

You’ve got to sell yourself by being yourself, and not let Obama throw you off. You cannot be the candidate of his type of change, and this may indeed be your downfall. But if it is, don’t take it personally. Americans always love a good bumper sticker slogan, and just look at Barack! He’s young, he gives a great speech, and he is truly African-American. Just those three things are enough for many folks who are sick and tired of the same old crap from the Oh-So-White House.

I don’t doubt that you would make a great President, and unlike many, I don’t hold your ambition against you or feel you are insincere in your desire to move America forward into the 21st century. But you are suffering from the two handicaps I mentioned above, and you need to realize that. If you don’t understand what you’re up against, and know that you will have to fight for every vote, then I suggest you get out now and let the other candidates duke it out.

Or, you can keep on flailing around…and have more and more bad days like yesterday.

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2 responses to “Dear Hillary….

  1. happyfungirl

    Hillary Clinton has a lot more support than she realizes. It’s hard to remember that over the noise from the propagandists, wankers and other media screech monkeys.
    Brian (preener) Williams and Tim (obsessed with Bill Clinton’s sexlife) Russert are twisted into blithering knots at this moment trying to deal with Senator Clinton’s strong support in New Hampshire tonight.

  2. Brian (preener) Williams and Tim (obsessed with Bill Clinton’s sexlife) Russert are twisted into blithering knots at this moment trying to deal with Senator Clinton’s strong support in New Hampshire tonight.

    And let’s not forget that Chris Matthews’ yellow haid is asploding. That makes me soooooo happy!