I’m Worried, People!

Run, run in terror from the unbeatable electoral juggernaut that is….ALAN KEYES!!!! (via Eschaton)

I’m sure Barack Obama, in particular, is quite nervous about running against Keyes. After all, the Senator only beat Keyes by 43 percentage points in their last matchup! It was close. Too. close.

If I were Keyes’ campaign director, my bio might go a little something like this:

The Original Comeback Kid, Alan Keyes has surged to victory in none of the elections in which he has been a candidate! Anti-gay, pro-God and insufficiently medicated, Alan Keyes’ supporters include color-blind members of the KKK, Log Cabin Republicans and people who think they’re going to win the lottery.

I’m hired, right?


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